“Ndawana wekuchemera, ndawana anondichengeta, ndawana wekuturira! #NdagarwaNhaka” – Tuku Music
Where are the men?!
This kugarwa nhaka business must have been relieving back in the day when cultured African men wore loin skins and knew what it meant to GENUINELY want to take care of their deceased brother’s wife. It must have been an honour to be entrusted to ensure the safety and well being of your brother’s wife and children.
Sadly, these days when a parent passes on, their siblings are the first ones in line to make the orphans’, widows’ and widowers’ lives a living hell! They are the ones already planning on how to get their hands on the title deeds, how to make sure that they get the sofas (never mind that they already have a set at home – they just want more to put in the bedrooms), they are already weaving a story to ensure that they get the car.
What happened to the faithful, loving, giving, caring and compassionate REAL man who was content with being thanked for taking care of a family that was otherwise going to suffer? What happened to the man who was already grateful for his own wife and didn’t lust after his dead brother’s wife? What happened to the man who valued integrity above personal gain?
Where are the men of days long gone, the men who took on the responsibility and not the burden of taking care of their kin? Where are the men who understood that #NhakaSandiBonde?? The men who were real protectors of women and children. The men who saw a mother and child bearer before they saw a sexual object?
Is it not their blood that flows today in the veins of these men in suits and ties? Is it not in the men who have title deeds for their land instead of simple boundaries?
If we don’t find it in the man of today, let us resurrect it in the man of tomorrow. Let us raise our sons to have a raw desire to protect women and children. Let us be the reason for a better tomorrow which is just like our yesterday.
Come with me back into the future where the man knows that #NhakaSandiBonde
Ever since I decided to live consciously in 2012 my eyes have been opened to seeing the beauty of life without the pressure of perfection. I have lived more between 2012 and 2014 than I have in my whole life. Everything around me came alive because of the change in the way I chose to see it, even the way I saw other people around me took a different form! There was a richness to everything, it all had a purpose, a life and a beautiful story. I am continuously amazed because by focusing on everything I am able to see it all much more clearly.
The way I saw others changed too!
I must admit that in the beginning I felt like I was catapulted back into the time where people cared very little about much. It felt like someone had taken control of the vehicle of my life and kept pumping the brakes, ordering me to look much more deeply into everything around me. My first reaction was a involuntary gasp, because as I looked outside my window, a beautiful transformation took place. The most amazing thing is that it had nothing to do with anyone else but ME! I had caused this slow motion complete change in my surroundings!
Because I was used to cruising through life from one moment to the next, what was a breathtaking moment soon had me panicking. I wanted to see things the way I thought they REALLY were and it took me a very long while to realise that this was EXACTLY how they really were. The blemishes and flaws that I had been seeing all along were so much more than that; they were just pieces of an unfolding story. It was a really extraordinary story, I only had to have the patience to wait for its completion.
For a long time I struggled with my desire to live a conscious life, it was too awesome and very care-free which really did excite and alarm me a whole lot. It made me more tolerant, more accepting, opened up my arms wider than I thought they could ever be and absolutely transformed me from the inside out. I stopped looking for hidden meanings and depth in everything and began to take time to observe, listen, and understand.
Even the Bible took on a new meaning, it became LITERAL – it became the Word of God and therefore has become like a love letter written to me by my Father. A letter that was relevant 2000 years ago and still is. All His promises and corrections came alive and I just wanted to take it one scripture at a time – it turned my life around this conscious living!
Take one of my favourite scriptures for example, “Love your neighbour as you love yourself” – it is a very simple concept – LOVE YOURSELF FIRST then you can really love others. It is a practical, applicable Bible principle for LIFE. But the hurdle was loving myself, that was the really difficult thing. It was a painful process to look at myself with all the things I know about myself and still love myself. It took a lot of acceptance, tears, introspection and so much more. I am still working on it, and it is not getting any easier.
This conscious living thing has taken the weight off my shoulders – I can only imagine what it can do for me in the long run! On Sunday I was driving quite hesitantly and my boyfriend said to me, “Drive with intent – think about what you will do, how you will do it, when you will do it and just do it.” Imagine living like that – living with intent, another nugget has been deposited into my Life Wisdom Jar! Live with intent!
Love yourself to Love others! <#
I hope you too will slowly unwrap the gift of consciousness in you – it is for lack of a better word – BEAUTIFUL!
You are enough for you, just know yourself, love yourself to love others, and Live With Intent!