It had been a while since I saw Amanda, Rinos & Lisa (my little siblings) and I must say when they came up for the holidays it felt like they had never left. This was thanks to social media of course! But still – the point is they never felt like they were far away for the past year and a half or so. NOTHING could have prepared me for the emotions, conversations, deals, laughter, joy and smiles that they brought! NOTHING AT ALL!
I picked Amanda up from Sam Levy’s after she had gone out with her friends. This was at at 8pm even!! These kids have it going on for them for real! When I was her age I remember being under such severe lock and key that when the man who was to be loved by my whole family about 6 years later called me on my granny’s landline I bit his head off to make sure he NEVER tries those stunts again. I also got shouted at once for lining my eyes and I was NOT going anywhere on the day!!!!. Yet she was out here at 8pm with her buddies and a face with eyebrows so beat! The amount of eyebrow stuff she had and the amount of eyeliner I had . . . HAMENO! Anyway, in the spirit of letting bygones be bygones I am letting this one go. #NewZimbabweHoye!
Where was I? Yes, I was NEVER prepared for this hectic level of Caretaker, Chaperone and “Big big sister” that this holiday brought.I was used to helping them get up when they fall, kissing fingers after they collide with a door, pulling them together after a very petty fight AND putting people in naughty corners while threatening to beat them up. Things had changed sooo much now! At some point on the drive back to Gogo’s Lisa announced that I was going to be a “Cool parent” who knows where to draw the line. Hahaha! I think that is what happens when you make them cook and clean while you sit and obsess over GOT “because you drove and fed them”, then they MAKE you download a whole bunch of movies.
After I picked Amanda up the girls (Amanda, Anashe & Lisa) decided to have a sleepover at mine on Saturday evening, so we went home and they slept over. You can imagine my excitement after church when I realised I DID NOT have to go out of the car to buy anything, neither did I have to cook, clean or mop anything – THEY did it! OK – I am sure you fully comprehend my excitement for minions, WAIT till I have my own! My mothers will have nothing on me.
We had an awesome yet simple sleepover and after church, a meal and hair washing, prepooing and the rest of stuff that goes with 4 heads of hair I dropped them off at Gogo’s. I thought I was done, I thought I was the one, that sister who has ticked all the boxes – I discovered on Tuesday morning that I actually was not. But then again, maybe you CANNOT tick them all!
Amanda had left some clothes at mine and I promised to bring them to Gogo’s on Monday evening. Monday evening rolled by and by the grace of God I found myself at Gogo’s WITHOUT the clothes. I told her and she thought I was joking, even though I said over and over and over again. I hoped it would sink in and at that point I was not making a big deal of it.
We went to bed and early in the morning as I was about to leave she walked to the car with SUCH a spring in her step and that “EverCalm” Amanda look on her face. She asked me to open the car door so she could get her stuff and I told her I had actually not managed to bring it with me. What came after THIS I was not prepared for AT ALL!
This child has ALWAYS been calm! Like – I don’t think she can EVER be phased – except by Lisa and Rinos, her younger siblings. She looked at me with her beautiful eyes swimming in a sea of disappointment and her smile slightly curved downwards. I was NOT prepared for that and nothing in the world could have prepared me AT ALL! Seeing that look of disappointment and that fleeting downward curve of her lip. Being Amanda, she quickly smiled when I told her I would bring them or have them with me all day so I can give Mama or whoever would be in town.
You see, I had NOT realised how much faith she had in me and how much she actually looked at me and saw a reliable person and I had let her down. It was such a blow for me to realise that I had taken for granted just how much she believed I would do something for her when I say I will. How many times do we take people’s faith, trust, hope in us for granted? Now that I have had that thought on my mind all morning I just had to send it out to the world so that we can all ponder on it.
To Mandy, I apologise for letting you down, even if it was over “clothes”. I took your faith in me for granted and I am so sorry honey! Please forgive me, I will do better next time! <3 … let it flow.
It is 6.24pm on Valentine’s Day as I write this and it is ‘Show&Tell’ time all over the world. Chat platforms are going berserk with pictures of gifts flying from one person to the other. Others have just realised that they might not be the main chick and some are throwing secret fits (very secret) because they have not YET received gifts. The bottom line is that the Day of Love is almost over and this is the time when your friends are asking you what you got and you are returning the favour.
Blessed is the woman with the man who believes in THOUGHTFUL gift giving on Valentine’s Day. The man who knows that it is not the quantity or extravagance of the gift, but the meticulousness of the gift giving process. This man knows that it is not the which, but the how and why behind the gift giving that matters. Whether he gives you a R10 or $100 gift this man knows how to make it one that you will never ever forget because of the feeling you had the moment that you had it. He knows that the gift lights up certain parts of you and he remembers the light you emitted. It becomes a moment that neither one of you will forget.
Gift giving is quite complex because you are never sure what the other person would like and when they DO tell you what they would like then it takes the fun out of the process. When it is time to buy presents for whatever occasion, most people hit the panic button and go to pieces. Some people are always on point and a few of the lot rarely have an idea what to do. So when your man gives you a gift that makes you smile for WHATEVER reason you need to be very grateful.
I am one of those people who really do not expect much on Valentine’s Day because I really want to shield myself from a ‘Crisis of Expectation’. The other thing is that I really am quite difficult to please because I DO NOT WANT anything that is cliché. I want something that shows that the giver has thought about me and how I would relate to the present at that particular time. YES – at that particular time because I always change what I want according to what is happening around me.
It is my guess that most women are like me – they are tired of the usual chocolate, roses and dinner which paves the way for the “thank you sex” that the ‘gentleman’ is hoping to get. We really just want something that shows that the men in our lives have thought about who we are, what we do, what we like and what is happening in our lives at that point and time. That is all – as easy as 1, 2, 3!
If you didn’t get a present, didn’t give a much appreciated one, didn’t have a giver or a recipient, don’t you worry – there are 320 more days to go in this year. For those that successfully gave and got then you need to start showing and telling, just don’t rub in your receiving and acceptance! I’ll go first (I have been itching to Show&Tell since I got my beautiful gift!!!) … simply cannot stop grinning, he makes me want to burst with happiness – *usually!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
The river flows. . .