All posts in Women’s Issues

Where are the men?

“Ndawana wekuchemera, ndawana anondichengeta, ndawana wekuturira! #NdagarwaNhaka” – Tuku Music

Where are the men?!

Where are the men?!

This kugarwa nhaka business must have been relieving back in the day when cultured African men wore loin skins and knew what it meant to GENUINELY want to take care of their deceased brother’s wife. It must have been an honour to be entrusted to ensure the safety and well being of your brother’s wife and children.

Sadly, these days when a parent passes on, their siblings are the first ones in line to make the orphans’, widows’ and widowers’ lives a living hell! They are the ones already planning on how to get their hands on the title deeds, how to make sure that they get the sofas (never mind that they already have a set at home – they just want more to put in the bedrooms), they are already weaving a story to ensure that they get the car.

What happened to the faithful, loving, giving, caring and compassionate REAL man who was content with being thanked for taking care of a family that was otherwise going to suffer? What happened to the man who was already grateful for his own wife and didn’t lust after his dead brother’s wife? What happened to the man who valued integrity above personal gain?

Where are the men of days long gone, the men who took on the responsibility and not the burden of taking care of their kin? Where are the men who understood that #NhakaSandiBonde?? The men who were real protectors of women and children. The men who saw a mother and child bearer before they saw a sexual object?

Is it not their blood that flows today in the veins of these men in suits and ties? Is it not in the men who have title deeds for their land instead of simple boundaries?

If we don’t find it in the man of today, let us resurrect it in the man of tomorrow. Let us raise our sons to have a raw desire to protect women and children. Let us be the reason for a better tomorrow which is just like our yesterday.

Come with me back into the future where the man knows that #NhakaSandiBonde


The river flows!

Yesterday lingers on

Yesterday is long gone
I know, yet it lingers on
I am sure that is one yesterday
Which is here to stay

That smell floats into my nose
Conjuring up moments like those
When all I would have wished for
was for the whole thing to end instantly

A hand from the past
Glides up and down my body
Bringing to mind the struggles
Struggles only I know of
And dare not speak about

My eyes put together an image –
Closed eyes, an intense face
This was a human….NOT a beast
Complete with hands like fists
Though in action beastlike…
I knew he was all human

My ears come alive
As I hear the grunts and whispers
From that yesterday, as light as feathers
Yet as deadly as the worst poison
I cringed then and I still do so now
The memories are what I relive

My mouth feels once again,
That invasion, that force, that taste
Which bring to mind a struggle in vain
Rendered powerless I laid there
Glassy eyed and numbed…was this really me?

Then I feel the pressure and warmth
That was that of a body spread over mine,
And I remember it was not her…
I was the one who lay there
Only I know what happened then.
On that yesterday long gone.

The river flows. . .