Where are the men?

“Ndawana wekuchemera, ndawana anondichengeta, ndawana wekuturira! #NdagarwaNhaka” – Tuku Music

Where are the men?!

Where are the men?!

This kugarwa nhaka business must have been relieving back in the day when cultured African men wore loin skins and knew what it meant to GENUINELY want to take care of their deceased brother’s wife. It must have been an honour to be entrusted to ensure the safety and well being of your brother’s wife and children.

Sadly, these days when a parent passes on, their siblings are the first ones in line to make the orphans’, widows’ and widowers’ lives a living hell! They are the ones already planning on how to get their hands on the title deeds, how to make sure that they get the sofas (never mind that they already have a set at home – they just want more to put in the bedrooms), they are already weaving a story to ensure that they get the car.

What happened to the faithful, loving, giving, caring and compassionate REAL man who was content with being thanked for taking care of a family that was otherwise going to suffer? What happened to the man who was already grateful for his own wife and didn’t lust after his dead brother’s wife? What happened to the man who valued integrity above personal gain?

Where are the men of days long gone, the men who took on the responsibility and not the burden of taking care of their kin? Where are the men who understood that #NhakaSandiBonde?? The men who were real protectors of women and children. The men who saw a mother and child bearer before they saw a sexual object?

Is it not their blood that flows today in the veins of these men in suits and ties? Is it not in the men who have title deeds for their land instead of simple boundaries?

If we don’t find it in the man of today, let us resurrect it in the man of tomorrow. Let us raise our sons to have a raw desire to protect women and children. Let us be the reason for a better tomorrow which is just like our yesterday.

Come with me back into the future where the man knows that #NhakaSandiBonde


The river flows!

3 Responses

  1. nyasha March 3, 2015 at 08:23

    This is really true,,,where are the men..we used to run to our brothers and fathers for protection but now they were the ones stripping us because i have a mini??

    We need to train the current and upcoming generation of men to know that we need to be protected..we neeed them

  2. Maureen Wakatama March 24, 2015 at 16:13

    True where are the men of days long gone…but reality is this “nhaka sandi bonde” is a two sided story where l wonder what is happening to us as women of today. It breaks my heart to see and hear of women in this and age who actually want kugarwa nhaka and later on expect to have sex with the so called man. What is that??A woman should should work…hard as it is this kugarwa nhaka tradition should just be done away with especially with zvirwere and economic hardships. Anoda kubatsira mhuri should do so innocently and wholeheartedly

  3. Dedicated servers April 9, 2017 at 22:52

    The church s gender gap is often invisible because the top tier of church leadership is still heavily male. The presence of enthusiastic men is one of the surest predictors of church health, growth, giving and expansion.


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