One thing’s for sure, discipline will always outsmart hard-work. Ask me how I know – well, even if you don’t ask me I will still tell you. This was always as cliché to me as it may sound to you, but it all changed one day when I decided that I would actually go for what I wanted. Weirdly enough it worked like a charm, and I am unlocking so much with the same key. Another cliché –it ALWAYS is harder at the beginning, and every time I engage the discipline gear in a new way I am faced with hardship.
The year was 2021 and I had decided to move out of my aunt’s house AGAIN after coming back home because of landlord drama (story for another day). Four years prior I had decided that I wouid have a baby through adoption and perhaps dabble a little bit in Fostering The time to become mom had come, and I had prepared for my little one in more ways than I ever thought were possible. I moved into a 3 bedroomed flat close to my aunt’s house (and the rest of my family really) and began the journey to motherhood.
It was scary at first, but when I looked at all the stuff I had bought for this kid and my lease agreement I realised that there was no turning back. The time had come, I had to live up to my word. A quick and daunting visit to The Department of Social Development, a couple of calls to friends, family, the medical world and work and reality set in a little deeper. Within no time at all I was a registered Foster Mother and a ‘Mom-in-waiting’. What was even harder to process was the moment I sat across my baby girl in the ‘maternity room’ AKA the Probation Officer’s office for the first time.
My baby was here, and the ‘labour’ was surely emotionally taxing, spiritually challenging and a little bit socially awkward, but here we were. I sat there looking at this baby interacting with her Ouma who we love so dearly to this day – yet all the time I was talking myself out of backing out of the whole thing. As crazy as it sounds I don’t think I even processed everything that was going on in that room on that day. I try, but on most days all I can remember is trying to prompt ‘motherly’ feelings and thoughts although that river ran dry at all angles LOL. Eventually I decided to observe baby, listen to Ouma and absorb whatever I could at that time.
At this moment, my discipline concerning the matter of becoming a new mom came through for me hard and fast. All the layers of work I had done between 2014 and 2021 came in handy as did the physical preparations that I had gone through from 2017 to 2021. The one which I underestimated, but became most grateful for being the working out to ensure I was fit enough to carry a small human around on most days.
I say all this to say it may have looked very breezy to most people when they saw me with my kid in those first months. Even now that I have had a revolving door with 9 children that have come through it I keep getting told about how I have a ‘grace’ for this thing. However, without negating grace I would like to share a little more about this wonderful journey and the lessons I have learnt from it.
Lesson 1 – Discipline will ALWAYS trump hard work, it helped and is helping me along this motherhood path. There is never any discipline without pain, but I promise you – the pain is in a class of its own when the results show inside and outside. That being said, set your targets, keep them in mind and CHASE THEM DOWN!
